


Lip Sync Comforts

by doctorbuffypotterlock79



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorbuffypotterlock79/pseuds/doctorbuffypotterlock79
Summary: Sutan and Karl each comfort each other after their lip syncs. Set during RPDR season 3.





	1. MacArthur Park

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some fluffy hurt/comfort. Planning to do a second part where Karl comforts Sutan after his lip sync. Any feedback welcome!

The tears still flowed as everyone began to de-drag. Raja glanced over at Manila, who had basically cried half her face off. She felt awful, Raja knew, but Raja was too busy dealing with her own feelings over Delta leaving to comfort her right now. Manila didn’t look like she wanted to be bothered anyway; she had run into a corner to take off her dress and had been uncharacteristically silent since they left the stage. 

Raja sighed, wiped off the last of her makeup, and became Sutan again. Now that the makeup and dress were gone, he felt like some protection had been taken from him. The tears around the other girls had been manageable, and he wasn’t sure how much longer before the deep emotions he’d repressed on stage really overtook him. They had been much easier to deal with while wearing that fucking blood bucket. 

Karl was still red-eyed and sniffling on the way back to the hotel, but the tears had stopped. Sutan had planned to talk to him, see how he was feeling, but couldn’t get any words to come out when he opened his mouth. He didn’t want to admit that his speechlessness was partially because he couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful Manila had looked tonight. It was probably for the best, as Karl looked so upset Sutan feared any talking would just make him feel worse. 

They went their separate ways to their rooms. Sutan threw himself on the bed and rubbed his hands over his face. Why did Gabriel have to go now? It wasn’t fair. He was one of Sutan’s closest friends and it wouldn't seem right to enter the workroom without him tomorrow. _It’s a competition _, he reminded himself. _Someone had to go home _. If he wanted to, he could blame Karl for sending him home, but Sutan just couldn’t. It must have been awful to be put in that situation, and Manila had owned the song. _There was no choice _, he thought, trying to make himself feel better over his friend leaving. It’s a lip sync for your life, and Manila sang for her damn life. She was so beautiful, so talented. He couldn’t get the image of her crying in that Big Bird dress out of his mind, and out of drag, Karl had looked even worse.______

__

__Karl. He groaned. Sutan had quickly come to like Karl. Sure, he talked too much sometimes and could definitely get a little- okay, a lot- annoying, but he was really funny and kind and intelligent and Sutan was grateful to have him. He had known Gabriel longer, but Karl had gotten close with him too, and the younger man was probably still reeling from almost going home himself. Sutan just couldn’t let him go through it alone. “Enough with the self-pity party,” he said to himself. “Karl needs you.”_ _

__He crept down the hall to Karl’s room and froze at the door. What would he even say? What if he just made things worse? What if Karl didn’t want to see him and slammed the door in his face? Should he run the other way and pretend this never happened? He took a deep breath and knocked lightly.  
A few seconds later the door flung open, revealing a rumpled, distressed-looking Karl, whose tear-stained face softened instantly when he saw the taller man standing there. _ _

__“I, um, I just wanted to see how you were,” Sutan explained._ _

__“I don’t really know,” Karl replied, tears filling his eyes. Without even thinking, Sutan reached one arm out and wiped some of the tears away with his long fingers._ _

__Karl blushed. “Oh honey, you don’t have to do that. I’m a really bad crier. Once I start, I can’t stop. You’ll be here all night wiping tears.”_ _

__They both let out small laughs. Sutan figured it was the first time either of them had felt anything besides utter misery all night._ _

__Karl motioned for him to come in, and they settled next to each other on the bed._ _

__“It’s not your fault, you know,” Sutan started. “I know you’re blaming yourself, but you can’t.”_ _

__“How can I not? I’m the one who sent him home.” The floodgates had opened and Sutan suddenly found himself dealing with a sobbing Karl. He didn’t know what else to do, so he wrapped his long arms around Karl and let the younger man bury his face in his thin chest. Sutan just held him and rubbed his back as he heaved with sobs._ _

__Eventually Karl pulled away, grabbed a box of tissues from the nightstand, and wiped at his tear-soaked face. The pile of tissues on the floor grew larger and larger. Sutan looked down at the damp spot on his shirt where Karl’s tears had landed._ _

__“Damn, bitch, you weren’t lying. I didn’t know the human body could even hold that many tears.”_ _

__Karl laughed shakily. “This whole thing just sucks. I mean, you know at some point that your friends have to go home, but you never think it’s gonna be when it is. Or that you’ll be the one to send them home.”_ _

__“I know, but that’s not your fault Karl. And believe me, Gabriel would rather be sent home by you than some booger.”_ _

__“Do you think he’s mad at-”_ _

__“He’s not mad at you,” Sutan interrupted. “You both knew someone had to go home. He knew that, he’s not mad, and you’re still friends.”_ _

__“Okay,” Karl said, though he seemed like he didn’t really believe it._ _

__“What was it like when you had to sing?” Sutan asked._ _

__“Why, you planning on doing it soon?” Karl teased._ _

__“Bitch!”_ _

__Karl laughed wildly before he continued. “It...feels like you’re about to die, honestly. Half of you can’t believe it and thinks you’ll just drop dead right there, but the other half is ready to fight till you die, basically. I didn’t want to have to send Delta home, but I couldn’t leave either. I knew I had to beat her, and I feel bad, but honestly I’m so happy to still be here, you know? Does that make me a horrible person?”_ _

__“Of course not. It’s just a shitty situation, Karl. You got thrown into that lip sync, and you had to save yourself. There was nothing else you could have done. You didn’t choose to send Gabriel home. It’s a competition. You killed it, and it happened to be him going home, and you can’t feel bad for that. It’s not your fault.”_ _

__“I guess you’re right,” he agreed grudgingly. “How are you, by the way? I know you two are really close.”_ _

__“I...I’m okay. Better after talking to you, actually. Obviously I didn’t want him to leave this soon, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”_ _

__They sat in a comfortable silence before Karl spoke. “Sutan, thank you. For coming to see me, I mean. I just wanted to wallow in my misery tonight but I feel so much better now. Thanks for caring about my annoying ass. It means a lot to me.”_ _

__Sutan’s head was buzzing with Karl’s words. He couldn’t ignore the warmth in his chest when Karl said his name or the joy he felt as he realized that he had made Karl feel better._ _

__“You don’t have to thank me. Of course I care about you, you’re my friend. And Karl, I just want to tell you, I’m really glad you didn’t go home.” He hadn’t realized just how true those words were until he said them aloud. Obviously he was upset over Gabriel, but Sutan had a nagging feeling that he’d be just as upset, if not more, if Karl wasn’t in the room right now. He didn’t want to think about what that meant._ _

__Karl smiled and looked happy for the first time all night. “Thanks. I hope you don’t go home either. I want it to be the two of us at the end.”_ _

__“Of course, bitch. Who else is good enough for the top two?” They both grinned at each other. “Anyway, good night, Karl. Try to sleep, okay?”_ _

__Karl nodded. “I’ll try. Good night, Heather.”_ _

__Sutan returned to his room, wishing he could take his own advice and sleep instead of spending the night racing through thoughts of a certain partially blonde man._ _


	2. Straight Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl returns the favor and comforts Sutan after his lip sync.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part of "Lip Sync Comforts". Some more fluffy hurt/comfort!

Karl couldn’t stop thinking about the lip sync. 

He knew how much Carmen loved her body, but flashing her nude ass had still managed to surprise him. Raja had completely gone for it too, and Karl smiled as he thought of the two of them practically having sex on the stage. 

Hours later, he was still sad to see Carmen go, but in the seconds before the song started he came to a realization that worried him a little but simply couldn’t be denied: he _wanted _Carmen to lose, because if she won, Raja would have to leave, and Karl just couldn’t stand to be without her.__

__They’d all de-dragged and were back at the hotel, trying to prepare themselves for the next challenge, but Karl couldn’t take his mind off Sutan._ _

__Raja had seemed okay when they left the stage and went to the workroom. She kept saying how tired she was, and it’s not like anyone would argue. They were all exhausted. But Karl could see the worry in her eyes. Worry that she had been in the bottom, that she had almost gone home. Worry that the other girls would see her as weak and prey on her._ _

__Once the makeup was gone, Raja became Sutan again, and though he probably hid it from the others, Karl saw the exhaustion and anxiety all over him. Karl made some small talk on the way back to the hotel, hoping it would help ground the older man, but he didn’t think Sutan had even been aware of his presence._ _

__He’d gone straight back to his room, saying he just wanted to sleep. But Karl had come to know Sutan pretty well in this competition, and he knew there was no way he was sleeping._ _

__He'd already spent an hour worrying about Sutan and figured he should at least see how he was. Not bothering to think of how late it was and how early he’d have to be up tomorrow, Karl made his way down to Sutan’s room. He knocked twice. No answer. “Come on, it’s just me. Open up.” Still nothing. The door was locked. Karl sighed. If Sutan wanted to be alone, that was fine, but after today, Karl was too worried not to at least check on him. Especially when the older man had comforted him after his own lip sync. Karl remembered thinking how he had wanted to be alone that night too, only to feel relieved after Sutan came to see him. He thought of Raja sinking to the stage after Ru said she was safe and Karl knew he just couldn’t let Sutan suffer alone tonight. If he wasn’t in his room, where would he be? Karl knew the small size of the room made Sutan anxious; he had once admitted to Karl that he felt like he couldn’t breathe in there. After a day like today, he probably needed some space and air all the more, and with that, Karl headed outside._ _

__He arrived at the pool courtyard, which was thankfully open 24/7. It was dead quiet outside, not even a small sign there was anyone around. Karl wondered if his hunch was wrong, but then he spotted him: still as a statue, cross-legged by the edge of the pool in shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops, staring into the water like it had the answers he wanted._ _

__After tripping over the raised entrance and clattering against the gate, Karl walked along the side of the pool and dropped down next to him. “Hey,” he said quietly. No response. “Hey!” he repeated, louder this time. The other man nearly jumped out of his skin, meaning his mental state was about where Karl thought it was: Sutan was so far in his own head he hadn’t even noticed the younger man’s noisy arrival. It would take a lot to talk him off this ledge._ _

__“Jesus, bitch,” Sutan muttered. “I didn’t even hear you.”_ _

__He resumed his staring into the water. He was clearly upset, even if he wouldn’t admit it, and the shorter man knew he had his work cut out for him. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Karl finally spoke. “Are you okay?”_ _

__“I’m fine.”_ _

__“Bullshit,” Karl paused to get a good look at him. His eyes were red and puffy, ringed with some dark smudges of makeup he’d missed. His hands were shaking slightly- so slightly you wouldn’t notice unless you were looking for something wrong. Sutan, like he knew Karl was trying to find proof that he wasn’t alright, turned his face the other way._ _

__“Honey, look at me. It’s okay,” Karl pleaded, and something in Sutan finally broke. He turned back to Karl with wet eyes, pure misery etched on his face._ _

__“Oh, babe,” Karl whispered. He brought the taller man’s head to rest on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay,” he soothed._ _

__All his emotions were finally released in a wave of tears Karl knew Sutan would never let himself show in front of the other girls because he didn’t want them to see him this fragile. Karl was surprised and a little honored that Sutan trusted him enough to let his guard down like this._ _

__They sat there for a few minutes as Sutan shook with sobs. Other than the shaking, he was a silent crier, unlike Karl, who wailed like a foghorn. Karl just held him while he cried. He remembered the older man doing the same for him when he had broken down after his lip sync, and it seemed like the best thing to do._ _

__“It’s just, it was almost me, you know?” Sutan’s voice was hoarse and unsteady. “I love Carmen, but the second that song started, I would have done literally anything to beat her. And she’s my friend and I hate that I was thinking like that but it doesn’t matter anyway because she probably hates me now.”_ _

__Karl dropped his arms and took Sutan’s hand. “She doesn’t hate you. I’m gonna tell you exactly what you told me after I sent Delta home. You’re friends, and you’ll still be friends. Of course you were willing to fight to stay. It’s a competition, and Carmen knew that. You can’t feel bad for doing a great job. It was just what you had to do in that situation.”_ _

__“Look at you spitting my own wisdom back at me,” the older man wiped his eyes and managed a small smile. “God, I still feel kind of shaky. When Ru said I had to sing, my heart, it just… it was beating so fast I could barely stand it. I couldn't even breathe. I felt like my knees were gonna give out on me.”_ _

__“Maybe if you didn’t have such skinny giraffe legs,” Karl teased. Sutan snorted. “Seriously though,” Karl continued, “I know how you feel. You honestly think you’re gonna die. Like you are literally singing for your life.”_ _

__“It’s awful,” Sutan agreed. “But after…” he hesitated. “After it was over and you could actually breathe, did you feel really… alive, I guess?”_ _

__Karl nodded, eyes wide. “Yes! It’s such a weird feeling. One minute you think you’re about to die and you still feel like you are after, but once you get over that you realize what a rush it was. That’s how it was for me, at least.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Sutan nodded, though he didn’t elaborate, and Karl didn’t push him. “All I kept thinking was how much it would suck to go home now. Sure, it sucks to go home really early because you never got to do much. But it’s kind of worse to go now, you know? You make it this far, a few challenges from the finale, and then that’s just it? I’m so close, Karl. So close. I hope I can get through these next days. I- I’m just so tired.”_ _

__“You’ll get through it, we both will,” Karl said comfortingly. “It’s gonna be the two of us at the end, remember?”_ _

__“Of course. There’s no one I’d rather have with me till the end than you,” he said, and they both smiled at each other. Sutan seemed a lot calmer and a little happier now, and Karl felt relieved himself._ _

__Karl stood up and held out his hand to Sutan. “Come on. You’re stressed and you need to get some sleep. You’ll feel even worse if you sit out here all night.”_ _

__Sutan nodded before taking Karl’s hand and hauling himself up._ _

__“You’re right. Let’s go.”_ _

__They held hands the whole way back to the hotel._ _


End file.
